Open Letter To The North Dakotan Behind This Terrible Parking Job

Dear stranger whose parking job looked like something out of a Picasso painting,

I'll start by saying, I'm not mad, but I am genuinely confused.

I've seen some bad parking jobs in my day, but how do you walk away from this and not see the problem?

(Also See: Bismarck-Mandan's Worst (And Funniest) Parking Fails)

Dear aisle obstructor (that's your name now), I was visiting the Kirkwood Mall the other day and saw your banged-up SUV parked in such a way that it nearly blocked off the whole aisle.

I'm not here to judge, but how did this actually happen? Did you not care?

This parking job- well, actually, I'm not sure we can even call this parking. I think what you did was more like a creative expression.

Anyway, like I was saying, the truly confusing part is that there were tons of other cars near you. You could easily see how the lines worked and how you needed to pull forward, but you didn't.

I thought to myself, maybe you were having a bad day. Maybe you needed to rush into the store because you were having tummy troubles. I'd abandon ship if I really had to go.

Maybe you couldn't see very well. If that's the case, please stop driving altogether. You need to see to drive.

Anyway, no hard feelings, this is just a reminder that the lines aren't just a friendly suggestion. If you want to get wild with your parking jobs in the future, please take your shenanigans to the back of the lot.

Sincerely,

A fellow North Dakotan who just wanted to buy some socks and perfume.