Breaking News: North Dakota Discovers Revolutionary Car Feature!

In an astonishing anthropological discovery, drivers in North Dakota have recently uncovered a groundbreaking feature on their vehicles that helps them navigate roadways.

This unusual mechanism is known as the "blinker" or "turn signal," and is said to have the mystical ability to communicate a driver’s intention to turn or change lanes.

Yes, you read that right. Clutch your pearls, burn the witch.

After years of drivers wildly veering to their right or left when making turns or changing lanes, officials have confirmed that the little stick poking out of the steering column isn't just for decoration or hanging patchouli air fresheners. It’s actually designed to signal to other drivers that you will be turning. Fancy that!

For those new to this alien concept, here’s a step-by-step guide on how to harness the power of the blinker:

1. Locate the Blinker Lever: Find that little stick usually protruding from the left side of the steering column.
2. Engage the Blinker: Push the lever up to signal a right turn. Push it down to signal a left turn.  This will engage the electronic components of your vehicle to send a series of flashes on your car's exterior lights (yes, your vehicle has specific lights on it, but diving in when and how to use all of them would likely need an advanced class for some drivers). These flashes are not, I repeat, NOT, an electrical malfunction.
3. Advanced Maneuver: Lane Changes: You may need to grab an emotional support Facebook rant, but yes, the blinker can also be used to indicate lane changes.  By doing so, it will notify other drivers about your intentions, which could potentially reduce accidents and, at the very least, avoid other people's perception of you as a doe-eyed-mouth-breather. (Image not found. See: Eli Manning.)
4. Timing is Everything: Activate your blinker at least 100 feet before your turn or lane change. Indicating a turn too early or too late, may give off the inkling that you are addled-minded or inebriated. Properly signaling gives fellow drivers enough time for the shock to wear off from witnessing an elusive turn signal and to act accordingly. direction.
5. Turn It Off: After completing your turn or lane change, simply return the lever to its point of origin to turn the signal off and alleviate any auditory annoyance.  Failing to do so may result in a crash course in sign language.

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Local authorities encourage drivers to experiment with this newly discovered feature, suggesting that widespread use could revolutionize driving in North Dakota.

Early adopters have reported a significant reduction in accidents as well as the general population's perception that lead paint chips were your pacifier of choice as a child.

Happy driving.